It doit y avoir absolument éternité en musique: 我作曲故我在 – I compose; therefore I am.

Archive for the ‘窗外’ Category

被點名的點名遊戲

以下貼自無名小站,遊戲已失效,僅留文字。

靜宜點我的名,就趁著點心時刻回答一下吧!

A. 被點到名字的要在自己的 blog 裏寫下自己的答案
然後去掉一個你最不喜歡的問題再加上一個你的問題
仍然組成 20 個問題,傳給其他8個人
列出其他 8 個需要回答問題的人的名字
還要到這 8 個人的 blog 裏留言通知對方——你被點名了
被點名者不得拒絕回答問題,完成遊戲的人將會永遠得到大家的祝福

B. 這8個人要在自己的 blog 裡註明是從哪裡接到的
並且再傳給其他 8 個人,讓遊戲繼續下去,不得回傳
被點到名字的人將會得到大家的祝福,並且所有美好的願望都會在不久的將來實現

== start ==

1. 每年出國旅遊期望次數?
A: 有免費機票的話幾次都ok。

2. 最近最鬱悶的事?
A: 作曲方面的瓶頸吧……

3. 世界末日就在明天,你最想做的一件事是什麼?
A: 嘗嘗當殺人魔的滋味。

4. 最想珍惜的人/事是什麼?
A: 現下擁有的一切。

5. 如果你是 1 億元頭彩的得主?
A: 把全家的貸款全都還清然後去外太空旅行。

6. 你現在最想擁有的是什麼?
A: 錢。

7. 過去十年你最不開心的時刻?
A: 高中三年。

8. 過去十年你最開心的時刻?
A: 每次成功演出作品時。

9. 戀人/老公/老婆讓你最欣賞的優點是什麼?
A: 誠實、耐心、有包容力。

10. 最不喜歡自己哪一點?
A: 難搞、沒自信。

11. 最近常常提醒自己的幾句話?
A: 別偷懶,該去寫曲子了。

12. 現在心裡在想什麼?
A: 這個世界真是不公平。

13. 最討厭的人?
A: 大家都在看所以不能說。

14. 接下來最想去旅行的國家或城市,爲什麼?
A: 芬蘭之類的北歐國家,因為很嚮往。

15. 十年後想變成什麼的樣的人?
A: 重要具影響力的當代作曲家。

16. 每當傷心難過時妳/你會做些甚麼事?
A: 彈琴或睡覺。

17. 最喜歡的卡通人物?
A: 已經離卡通太遙遠了所以記不得。

18. 最想念的人?
A: 已過世的前任鋼琴老師。

19. 夏天最想做的事?
A: 放暑假。

20. 妳最想改變現在的生活哪一部份?
A: 想要乾淨整齊有規律的生活環境。

DONE

New Life in SD

I’ve been living in San Diego since late August, starting the last phase of my student life.

Everything here is a challange for me — including language, cultural differences, my TA position, my courses, and many other circumstances. Almost all the students are thouhtful and excellent.  They read and study a great variety of thing, listen to a lot of music, and probe into their majors deeply. My TA course is Basic Musicianship in which I teach sight-singing and dictation and also some music rudiments. I’m also auditing an undergrad course and attending in two non-credit English seminars in the first quarter.

At the beginning, I felt myself featureless and weak even if I was relatively outstanding in my homeland where I graduated in honor and won a lot of awards. Most of the students had similar experiences as me. During the first month I met and talked with a lot of composers and we often shared our works and ideas with each other. I found that American composers have specifically strong interests in microtones and harmonic spectrum. I don’t know that is a common phenomenom or not. Besides studying, I’m trying to avoid writing clichés.

Recently I’m working on my jury piece — a trio for Clarinet, Contrabass, and Percussion. In this piece I’ll combine some of my logical thoughts and analysis with some new ideas about the flow of time. In the composition seminars I’ve already done the sketches of various musical parameters and all what I need now is the time to realize in music.

Before I started my work, I listended and studied on some Taiwanese aboreginal music as well as Giacinto Scelsi’s scores for a couple of weeks. But I stopped reading anything about the latter not wanting to be influenced. His music sounds extraodinarlily oriental and his thoughts also reflect some oriental philosophy. Sometimes I think it’s unfair that a western composer can use eastern materials and notions as exoticism but, for an eastern composer, it will easily become a parody or a cliché if not deeply refined and contemplated.

However, in such a large world, I must find out my basic stance and be more critical on my own music.

The photo: One of my manuscript sketches which is different from my old formal structural designs.

Un Jour Plein du Français

Vous croyez? J’ai parlé le français pendant douze heures aujourd’hui, du matin à la nuit.

Comme d’habitude, je suis allé aux trois cours à l’école privée, et puis on a eu une soirée de barbecue chez Matthieu, le professeur qui va partir pour la france dans quelques semaines. Il y avait beaucoup d’élèves qui sont y allés aussi. J’ai été contente que nous avons été tout ensemble ici le soir.

Le temps passe très vite. J’ai commencé mon premier cours de français il y a un an et demi quand j’ai préparé mes études à l’étranger et mes compositions en même temps, mais maintenant, j’ai déjà reussi B1 au TCF. Au moins, je peux lire des articles dans mon domaine, et écrire des textes qui ne sont pas très compliqués. Pendant cette période, j’ai connu beaucoup d’amis. En outre, les professeurs sont sympas et gentils qu’ils semblent aussi des amis autour. Aujourd’hui, c’était notre dernier samedi, et après juillet, on va quitter pour les nouveaux buts tout seul. Il n’y aura plus de possibilité pour moi d’utiliser souvent le français après que je serai allé aux Etats-Unis dans deux mois. Je souhaite ne l’oublier pas.

Je vais toujours me souvenir les tout, mes études, mes amis, mes expériences, et mes souvenirs à TienKen, où j’ai passé une période tant importante dans ma vie.

la photo: les deux professeurs français avec nous, à l’occasion du barbecue chez Matthieu

ps. Les corrigez pour moi s’il y a des fautes dans le texte, merci.

感性音樂週-回憶篇

貼自無名小站,沒有音樂,只有文字。

換季,同時也換心情,
遂將前一季的音樂暫時換下。

那幾首令人驚心動魄的廿世紀音樂,對我而言不僅有著震撼般地深刻感受,甚至那樣的音樂圖騰,成為生命中某段不可磨滅的記憶,每當聆聽時總會感到心口隱約地 抽慉。猶記得最為疼痛的那段故事,如今身邊的景色早已如快轉般逝去,眼前的一切既成過往,也不該時時由音樂提醒著,儘管我是如此地愛它們,懷有特殊的情 感。

猶記得在學生時代,PU學長亦曾說過同樣的話,認同音樂是可能存在、保有某段記憶的,使人在每次聆聽的當下,都彷彿再次回到那樣的時空裡,重新經歷過千千萬萬遍,周而復始。譬如海潮。

每個人都或多或少擁有一些這樣的時光膠囊音樂,也因此這次特別選了幾首,全是古典調性音樂,甚至是大家耳熟能詳的曲目,卻分別在我生命歷程過去幾個不同階段中,扮演著舉足輕重的角色,是具有特殊意義或是心情投射的。其清單如下:

個人資料:F. Chopin, Ballade Op.52 (國中)
留言板:A. Scriabin, Etude Op.42 No.5 (高中)
相簿:O. Messiaen, Louange a l’Eternite de Jesus (大學)
網誌:A. Scriabin, Sonata No.10 (碩士)

以前唸國中時,曾經想為那首曲子寫篇小說,並且特別偏愛那種「雨天的藍色調」,如同當年的心情。儘管現在為人師表,總稱那群國中生為「小孩子們」,卻也該 知道這樣的音樂對於那樣年紀的孩子而言是早熟的,一個青澀但孤獨的年代。那時候唸的是私校,每天要上滿八堂課到傍晚六點,主副修及術科等許多課程,往往放 學後還得另外去老師家上,在最緊的一個學期裡,我每週必須要上:主修鋼琴、副修小提琴、加修理論作曲、二胡、和聲學,以及剩下兩天用來幫同學伴奏。

而練到那首升c小調練習曲時,是我剛升高三的暑假,在升學考試壓力的迫近之下,一種呼之欲出的刺激與渴求,或是一種躁動的不安感。當年所有的老師們都認為 我很適合演奏史克里亞賓的曲子,或許一部分便是源自於那股靈魂內在的爆發力吧。紅樓裡的那段日子曾經對我是段深邃的記憶,但離開一久,便也早已忘卻當時那 份敏感而純真的心情:當年怎麼會寫出那種似詩而非詩的東西呢?我很難再懂第二次了。

在大學時期影響我最深厚的,無非是梅湘的作品,這是眾所皆知的事。對這首曲子的記憶在於,那年我們因為921地震被趕出系館,隔了半年多才開始在柴山上、 坐山望海的生活,伴著開始對這組作品的喜愛,我無時不刻都享受著那份寧靜的蒼茫。我曾在我的詩作日記本上寫著:除了白色,還是祇有白色,在世界、時間的盡 頭。那個學期我有修現代詩的課程,因此留在琴房中除了練琴的時間以外,也包括了寫詩以及觀賞夕陽──那時候我最愛分享美麗夕陽的對象,是我的同班同組同門 同窗同學,這件事即使到了碩士班時依舊。

會接觸到史克里亞賓的最後一號奏鳴曲,最初是為了做研究,也就是我後來所發表的期刊論文內容。原本是篇課堂報告,然而我卻開始迷上它,便著手去練習,那段 日子其實是相當苦悶的,在沒有朋友、熟悉人們的陌生學術環境裡,每天獨自面對的除了教授、圖書館外,便祇有琴房。我在那時開始過起如大學時代般單調的,每 日在系館到留晚上十點的生活,分配兩小時練琴、其餘時間作曲,回家後至清晨五點則是讀書打報告的時間。孤獨時的淚水總在面頰上乾成魚肚白的顏色。

當然如今回首學生生涯,似乎又已一切變得遙遠了,
唯一不變的,祇剩下音樂。

爆料

噗哈……太好笑了,出賣一下學弟。
感謝乾育讓我渡過了一個笑得合不攏嘴的夜晚。

(以下節錄之對話發生在討論上篇奇異和聲內容時)

*~:+:BrIaNMuSiC:+:~* : 這是哪一首作品啊
Le Crabe Bleu : 我老公的曲子啦^^
*~:+:BrIaNMuSiC:+:~* : 挖勒
*~:+:BrIaNMuSiC:+:~* : 妳老公現在是誰….
*~:+:BrIaNMuSiC:+:~* : 李豐緒喔      (謎之聲:豐先生對不起被捲進來,別打我。)
Le Crabe Bleu : 靠@@ 古典音樂家啦
*~:+:BrIaNMuSiC:+:~* : 好想知道是哪首曲子= =”
Le Crabe Bleu : 很熟的曲子吧
*~:+:BrIaNMuSiC:+:~* : 悲愴喔 哈哈哈
*~:+:BrIaNMuSiC:+:~* : 很熟ㄟ 有聽過 可是妳說這是鋼琴作品???
Le Crabe Bleu : 很熟的曲子 和聲妙吧
Le Crabe Bleu : 對 鋼琴
*~:+:BrIaNMuSiC:+:~* : 這是誰ㄚ
Le Crabe Bleu : 當然是我最愛的人呀 噗哈 可惜死了
*~:+:BrIaNMuSiC:+:~* : 我還沒聽音樂 我正在看和聲
Le Crabe Bleu : 他的墓在巴黎喔
*~:+:BrIaNMuSiC:+:~* : 梅香喔
Le Crabe Bleu : 不是 梅湘有老婆
Le Crabe Bleu : 年紀輕輕就死了 沒結婚的 帥的
*~:+:BrIaNMuSiC:+:~* : satie duka 誰ㄚ 天ㄚ
*~:+:BrIaNMuSiC:+:~* : 是沒有名氣的嗎?
Le Crabe Bleu : 有名的
*~:+:BrIaNMuSiC:+:~* : 天ㄚ!!!!!!!!!!!
*~:+:BrIaNMuSiC:+:~* : 妳不要再折磨我啦 快告訴我啦
Le Crabe Bleu :呵呵呵呵 再給一個提示 有人說我很像他的同居人
*~:+:BrIaNMuSiC:+:~* :(我大概是猜最久的= =)挖勒…
Le Crabe Bleu : 這樣還猜不到咩???? :-O
*~:+:BrIaNMuSiC:+:~* : 米堯
*~:+:BrIaNMuSiC:+:~* : 比才 白遼士 佛瑞
*~:+:BrIaNMuSiC:+:~* : 史克里亞賓不是法國人吧
*~:+:BrIaNMuSiC:+:~* : 拉赫曼尼諾夫
Le Crabe Bleu : 再早期一點 1850以前
*~:+:BrIaNMuSiC:+:~* : 悉被留是 羅西尼 蕭送
*~:+:BrIaNMuSiC:+:~* : 蒙台威爾第 帕海貝爾 盧利 普塞爾 韋瓦第 韓德爾 巴哈 史卡拉第 塔悌尼 海頓 包凱里尼 克萊曼第 莫札特 貝多芬 帕格尼尼 韋柏 羅西尼 舒伯特 董尼采第 白遼士 孟德爾頌 蕭邦 舒曼 李斯特 華格納 威爾第 古諾 蘇佩 史麥塔納 布魯克納 小約翰史特勞斯 魯賓斯坦 布拉姆斯 聖桑 布魯赫 比才 穆索斯基 柴可夫斯基 夏布里耶 德弗札克 葛利格 薩拉沙提 林姆斯基- 高沙可夫 佛瑞 蕭頌 艾爾嘉 普契尼 馬勒 麥克杜威 德布西 理察-史特勞斯 西貝流士 拉赫- 曼尼諾夫 荀白克 霍爾斯特 拉威爾 克萊斯勒 巴爾托克 史特拉汶斯基 高大宜 普羅高菲夫 蓋希文 哈察都量 蕭斯塔科維奇 布列頓
*~:+:BrIaNMuSiC:+:~* :有在裡面嗎…………XD
Le Crabe Bleu : 有 你要是打這麼多還`不在 真的可以撞牆了吧
Le Crabe Bleu : 你把大家認識的人都講光了吧XD
*~:+:BrIaNMuSiC:+:~* : 我剛剛真的沒矇到過我很懷疑
*~:+:BrIaNMuSiC:+:~* : 升桑 古諾 白遼士
Le Crabe Bleu : 你連我不熟的人都猜了是怎樣
Le Crabe Bleu : 你剛列了一大串裡其中一個
*~:+:BrIaNMuSiC:+:~* : 德弗札克
Le Crabe Bleu : 命中率好低呀^^
*~:+:BrIaNMuSiC:+:~* : 真慘 他國籍是法國還是只有死在法國
*~:+:BrIaNMuSiC:+:~* : 布魯赫 貝多芬…..
Le Crabe Bleu : 他爸還他媽是法國人
*~:+:BrIaNMuSiC:+:~* : 薩拉沙提
Le Crabe Bleu : 住過法國 是不是也死在那我有點忘了
*~:+:BrIaNMuSiC:+:~* : ….我猜不到了 快解答吧
Le Crabe Bleu : 他見過李斯特
*~:+:BrIaNMuSiC:+:~* :那就是布拉姆ㄙㄛ
…………………….

—-
天啊,我敗了。 orz
對了在那之前還有猜過德步西、佛瑞與葛利格。

原本有一度真的以為是故意鬧的呢,把全西音史聽過的作曲家全講光就是不講他。
XDXD

追尋音樂的腳步,無疆界

《追尋音樂的腳步,無疆界》──二○○六年世界新音樂節札記

在那裡我是個異鄉旅人,戴著生平頭一遭(國際性的)青年作曲家之名,足跡遊走在二○○六年夏天的司徒加特。

我所搭乘的小飛機在七月十四日的上午抵達目的地,在司徒加特的市區角落,處處張貼、懸掛著音樂節的「Grenzenlos」巨大海報──可見德國對於藝術文化活動之重視,以及音樂節規模之龐大。選自世界各國不同類型、風格的新音樂曲目及展演,便在這為期十六天的時日中密集地舉辦,包括若干場音樂會與周邊相關的藝術活動等。

音樂會主要舉辦地點包括國家戲劇院(Theaterhaus)的三個音樂廳、昆士特現代藝術博物館(Kunstmuseum)、市立歌劇院(Staatoper)、新音樂劇場(Forum Neues Musiktheater)、巴利舍廣場(Pariser Platz)等,演出依曲目風格、編制、類型等分配在不同的場地:包括管弦樂、室內樂、電子音樂、歌劇、獨奏、多媒體聲像藝術、音樂劇場……等,亦有些受邀而來的知名演奏家或表演團體,譬如義大利長笛演奏家Mario Caroli、新世代木笛四重奏、Arditti弦樂四重奏、Ensemble Modern、印度合奏團等,其形式之多元,便如同「現代音樂博覽會」般豐富。

抱持著半學習、半體驗的心,從開幕第一場音樂會起,我在每場節目單上寫下關於聆聽以及曲目的筆記;另一方面,我的手札上,也滿滿記載著旅行及每天思考的點 滴。事實上,對曾經聽過若干場國際性音樂節的我而言,去歐洲「向音樂朝聖」的心情並不太濃,反而從諸多展演中吸收刺激及養分,進而見賢思齊(見不賢而內自 省),才是最重要的。

「新音樂」、「當代藝術」……一方面背負著「實驗性」、「尚未經過時間沉澱」等每個時代必定存在的評判質疑,另一方面亦同時展現著作曲家們的歷史軌跡──包含時間及地域性的學習與影響過程,或者文化的圖騰等,與歷史上其他的藝術同樣地,投射、反應著作品本身的群性以及作曲家(所賦予)的個性。

各場音樂會大致有其共同性:比如同樣(在作曲技法上)是層次與色彩豐富的管弦樂、具有中心音高的、使用大量非樂音素材(noise)的、樂曲發展安靜且平緩的、結合現場電子效果器、多媒體藝術或動作表演的室內樂等……抑是以同樣的編制組合,演奏性格極為迥異的樂曲。也因此同一場演出的作品,彼此之間便能做直接的比較與參照,但對擁有特定欣賞品味的聽眾群而言,亦可能不甚喜愛整場演出的、某種形式風格之下的曲目。

除了歌劇以外,整個音樂節共有三場大型管弦樂的節目,由德國當地的司徒加特廣播交響樂團(Radio-Sinfonieorchester Stuttgart des SWR)擔綱,分別在開幕當日、音樂節大會議程結束的週日、以及閉幕音樂會演出,其中我的作品被安排在中間的那一場。

令我感到印象深刻的是,在這若干場演出中,除重量級的大師(如Klaus Huber、Yonghi Pagh Paan、 Thomas Kessler等長輩)外,許多傑出的作品往往出自女性作曲家之手:如開幕第一場音樂會的第一首作品「光」(Sula),為獲得今年度青年作曲家首獎的愛斯托尼亞女作曲家Helena Tulve (1972~) 所作,如曲名所寫,音樂整體宛似一片巨大的聲音光譜,編制中並加入大型的低音口簧管,是首層次變化豐富得令人驚豔、音響如排山倒海般不絕於耳的管弦樂。

此外,其中一場在昆士特博物館的演出,整場音樂會祇放一首作品「穿越夢境之聲」(Sogni tra suoni),為羅馬尼亞女作曲家Mihaela Stanculescu-Vosganian (1961~) 所 作,演奏編制寫給一組特殊的二重奏──由兩位演奏家同時身兼數種不同的樂器,包括弦樂、木管、鋼琴、銅管、擊樂等,現場並有兩個多媒體畫面屏幕:其一播放 預錄影像,另一則為現場以特殊角度拍攝演奏(如鋼琴弦內部、法國號按鍵部分等)的即時視訊。那裡的場地是半開放式的,而非關起門來管制的音樂廳,因此參觀 博物館展場的觀眾,亦能停下腳步來欣賞節目。那是首夢幻、細膩、且非常聽覺的音樂,連續的聲響組織片段與視覺畫面結合,產生出另一種與一般「分析、邏輯 式」截然不同的空間氛圍。在聆聽的當下,幾乎可以說是全然忘卻時空與環境的。

而閉幕音樂會的壓軸曲目「而今於斯」(Ima, koko),為旅居法國的日本作曲家Misato Mochizuki (1969~) 所作,據同樣參與此次音樂節的日本前輩作曲家篠原真先生說,她是當今在歐洲極被看好、非常優秀的一顆作曲之星。由於擁有電子音樂的學習背景(IRCAM),與開幕首場Helena Tulve女士作品的純管弦樂相形之下,運用了許多合成器、擴大器等,自然地融入並輔助漸層且漸變式的管弦樂中。音樂的氣氛較為莊嚴、沉著,呼吸綿長、音色細緻而不軟膩,在聲響與變化的豐富之外,更展現出另一種東方式含蓄的色彩個性。

在音樂節的其中一天,配合ISCM大 會議程的行程,主辦單位安排大家(主要是各國的首席代表,以及部分參與的作曲家們)到距司徒加特數十公里的城鎮,卡爾斯魯爾,參觀那裡的聲像多媒體研究中 心,以及燈光藝術暨互動式多媒體藝術博物館,並安排(由該實驗室資源所製作的)電子音樂作品展演。除音樂會外,館內的展覽亦令人滯足忘返,以聲音、光、視 覺畫面等媒材塑造出一個個獨立的空間,在那樣的空間中,儼然是與外界隔絕的世界,擁有特定的概念以及氛圍,而不啻是單純地造型與實驗而已。我相當享受於類 似的體驗形式:暫時忘卻現有的時空,投入且身歷其境。

除了在司徒加特城市觀光以及趕赴各場音樂會外,此趟音樂節於我最重要的部分,便是我的小提琴協奏曲「東山之弦」的排練與演出──它不僅是我第一首管弦樂作品,亦是我首次在國際舞台上發表作品。

事實上早在六月底、七月初時,我便已與指揮Jonathan Stockhammer先生魚雁往返過數次,除討論樂譜的記譜細節外,也聊過一些對音樂的看法等。Jonathan是旅居德國的美國人,曾經學過一點中文,還擁有一個中文名字「史江生」,很幸運地他相當喜愛我的作品,並對我的管弦樂配器讚賞有加。他十分熱心地在信中問起我的成長及學習背景,以及關於「隱士」的典故──因為我在首封回信中,寄件者名稱使用「遁隱者」的英文字「recluse」,而他的回信便如此稱呼我……當然,一切祇是不經意產生的巧合,於是我告訴他五柳先生的故事,他遂也更加了解該如何詮釋我的音樂。

而擔任小提琴獨奏的是Carolin Widmann, 大我五歲的德國青年演奏家,我與她的初次會面是在排練的第一天。當天大清早我便獨自搭地鐵,來到司徒加特廣播交響樂團的排練場地,在一個僻靜的公園裡、一 座古堡旁邊,那一帶幾乎沒有其他人影,幸好大會有派人在入口處接待,才不致於迷路。那時樂團正在排練同場音樂會的另一首作品,趁著空檔我與Carolin便單獨討論、將整首樂曲的獨奏部分走過,包括音色、弓法及詮釋細部等。「Do you like it?」「Of course, I like it, so I play it.」在細節修完之後,Carolin親切、豪爽地說出她的感想,並且她的演奏技巧與指法相當精準,音色十分明亮。我、她、與指揮的三人默契搭配合作無間。

我連續參與了兩天上午的排練,整個樂團在Jonathan仔細地領導下,果然將譜面所有細節演奏得極度精確:該有的聲部與層次絲毫不茍,在排練過程中我也能與樂團、指揮及獨奏家保持即時地溝通,可以說是相當地順利──尤其是受到肯定及尊重的感覺,使我感到愉悅。

演出當天下午的總彩排結束後,我們在音樂廳旁的花園共同享用午餐、聊天,那時我也首次與同場同台發表作品的前輩Thomas Kessler碰了面,他是位端莊、仁慈而不失幽默的瑞士老先生。儘管年齡懸殊,大夥兒的互動與交談相當熱絡,偶而也會開開玩笑、或是做些瘋狂的事,比如繞口令的迴圈遊戲與Jonathan的髮夾等……Jonathan並且替我取了個別名「Thomas Willow」,因為那天同台發表作品的另外兩位作曲家湊巧都名叫「Thomas」,而「Willow」便是五 柳先生的「柳」。工作歸工作、排練歸排練,當下了舞台後,無論多麼專業、資深的音樂家,我們在在興致高昂的氣氛中輕易地便打成一片。

然而老Thomas談 起音樂時卻是嚴肅的,令我尊敬、佩服的是他宏觀且豁達的觀念,以及投身效忠音樂創作的執著:許多音樂家在演出完後隔天便離去,往往是為了趕場,到下個國 家、另一個音樂節去表演,而他卻微笑地說:「我的紙跟筆在我的國家等我。」充分顯現出一位老作曲家對音樂單純、不滅的熱忱。當音樂會翌日早晨,我與他(和 他的Rap演奏者Saul) 在餐廳為他餞行而短暫晤談時,他告訴我:「二十五歲還很年輕,應該多接觸、多聽、多寫、多嘗試,不需要急著太早定型,為自己設下限制;但是另一方面,妳也 必須擁有堅定的內在,對於音樂創作上,妳得很清楚自己的定位,否則當妳遇到與原有系統截然不同的可能性時,便很容易迷失。」老Thomas與我的恩師觀點有幾分不謀而合,甚至,後半句是過去我曾經面臨、卻百思不得其解的部分,如今竟被這位前輩一語道破。我想,這對於我們年輕世代的音樂筆耕者們,是再中肯不過的一番話了。

當晚我的作品演出發表算是相當成功,所聽到的評論與感想多半是對於和聲及配器色彩的讚美,以及細緻的詩意表現──「colorful」與「beautiful」 算來是出現最多次的形容詞彙,那應該便是大家對我音樂普遍的直觀印象罷。次日司徒加特廣播交響樂團的總監也如此地跟我說,說那是首美麗的管弦樂,他很高興 該樂團能演奏這樣的作品,並對我表示相當程度的肯定與讚賞。我開始發現當音樂在「外面的」舞台上發表,與平時在國內面對師長同儕、鄉親父老是極不相同的: 在這裡,沒有人會在乎作品的技巧與結構、創作時所運用的手法、或是意念表達得成功與否,大家都祇純粹地聆聽,無論以怎樣的聽法。──除非是技術上過於拙劣 的敗筆之作,抑或沒有個性的學院派習作……當然那同時也是對作品本身的聆聽檢視,十分嚴酷的考驗。

在歐洲的大環境裡,對於音樂的「聲音」、「聽覺」部分相當重視,此亦為現代音樂藝術中極重要的一環,無論以怎樣的角度詮釋或組織這些聲音。這個音樂節便安排了一項周邊展演,將鄰近戲劇院的奇山公園(Hönenpark Killesberg)布置為「聲之公園」(Sound Park),在裡面各角落擺設若干個現場聲音藝術裝置。

我挑了某個黃昏的空檔,獨自走進這座位於小山丘上的綠地公園,首先映入眼簾的便是座巨大花圃,在花圃中排列著許多架各自擁有不同音高的鐵鐘,連續參差地自動敲奏成悅耳的聲響群。圓中小徑的幾個轉角處亦放置著定時播放的廣播小箱,有些類似「Musique Concréte」的擬真效果;再走進去些,是連續排列的數個噴水池,其中一座裡面有幾顆浮在水面上的藍色球形物,持續且不間斷地發出協和的弦樂聲響,隨著潺潺的水聲緩慢地漸變。

公 園的最高處有座圓椎狀的瞭望塔,沿著狹窄的鋁梯登至頂端,可以望見整座公園的全貌、戲劇院和我們所住的旅館,以及一部分城市的模樣。而在瞭望塔的四周,環 繞著裝設了許多個播放鐘聲與電子音樂聲響的喇叭,佇足塔上便宛若全身浸淫在聲音的海洋之中。走下瞭望塔所在的小丘,沿著一旁草間的小徑穿過去,則是幢古舊 的小茅屋,它的門窗深鎖,祇有一個開放式小空間能夠進入。我站在裡面,抬眼祇望見屋角結滿層層的蜘蛛網,一個持續且平穩的管風琴長音悠然地迴盪其中,以非 常緩的步調逐漸疊加為不同色彩的和弦:便如這幢茅屋所在地點之幽靜,若非獨享的靜謐時分,恐怕很難聽見此中細微的變化。

在 公園最深的裡端為一大型池塘,池塘內架設了若干支翹翹板式的管鐘,參差地自動敲奏,並反覆在水中沉下、浮起,造成滑音之效果。是時天色正佳,池畔的草地與 樹木將水面映成一片綠色,陽光斜斜地照在銀色的管身上,四處靜得祇剩下此起彼落的鐘響與水聲。我兀立著聆聽許久,才踏著自己的影子朝來時方向走去,與水氣 中的彩虹和橙黃光束依依不捨地道別。

與博物館的室內展覽空間不同的是,這樣的聲音藝術裝置與大自然空間是全然結合的,而非一座座「單純發出聲音的」裝飾作品。我享受於公園裡的陽光與景色,進而才讓這些素材單一的聲響融入聽覺──諸多官能的其中之一,那是屬於走出音樂廳與有限空間的另一種體驗。

兩週的時光在每日盡情地聆聽之中過去,音樂節轉眼便已迫近尾聲。在那段日子裡我遇見許多來自各國的作曲家與音樂家,以及同樣本著學習、觀摩的心參與音樂會的作曲學生們,聽見各種不同風味及色彩,卻同樣追求著某件目標──音樂──的作品:「聲 音」與「光」是此行最大的收穫,不限於手法、風格與形式,也沒有一定的欣賞準繩,祇是存在於被塑造出來的特定時空中。我體驗到許多種聆聽方式及聽覺經驗之 可能,或許也從中開啟了某些思維的新方向,關於藝術以及創作──在那裡我是個作曲家亦是個時空裡的旅人,我追尋音樂的腳步,無疆界。

(全文完)

關於「追尋音樂的腳步,無疆界」

◎ 寫在全文之前

在八月初聽完音樂節返國後,老潘指定我與怡安寫作文章來記述些關於音樂節的點滴與感想等,因此它是份我積欠已久的作業,而這篇是我的版本──花兩個晚上一 氣呵成、洋洋灑灑近五千字的散文。也許在被怡安拿去整合之後,所正式發表的面貌,便不會是這樣了:新的版本將會失去我原有的文脈與筆法,以及整篇文字特有 的結構與組織。

是嗎?再等著看期刊好了……

◎ 後續

拿到期刊之後,事實上這樣一篇「遊記」讀起來的感覺並不會很嚴肅,我的文章插上圖片放在整則報導的後半部,並沒有修改變動太多。然而對自己的筆法卻開始感到不甚滿意,我似乎還是比較適合寫理論分析的文章……

0推薦此文章 推 收

陣雨

午後,飄著微雨的坪頂路上處處散發著泥土香,天空昏暗得像是蒙上一層灰色帷幕。我穿著簡單的T-shirt與七分短褲,披了件半身雨衣,獨自騎車翻過山 頭。今天縣道上的車速特別地慢,也許是天候不佳之故,我想那些駕車在蜿蜒山路間時緩時頓、忽滯忽前的,八成是行經此地的遊客,因而途中多了幾滴雨,便不敢 前進了。在滑溜的陡坡上尾隨那樣的車輛著實險厄,我費了幾番工夫才遶行至前方,對著那明滅不定的燈光冷笑,轉眼鞥鞥的引擎聲已被拋在遠處。

翻過山頭,新北投的遊客絡繹不絕,絲毫不受雷雨天氣影響玩興。我在酒店預訂的是戶外座,一個人佔整張四人方桌,我選擇面山而坐,將蒼茫的山景配著午茶,在 雨聲中一併飲下。原想信手拈幾個字寫下,但出門過於簡便,連平日寸不離身的紙筆也省了,我想起在國外自助旅行的那段日子,以及更早的曾經,彷彿對著山間的 蓊鬱沉思,早已成了種獨享的習慣。猶記得當年在西灣坐山望海時,我也經常如此:望山凝思、向海紓懷,即使在喧囂人語中,也能自得其樂。

酒店的午茶樣式繁多,我祇揀了些麵條青菜水果,配上果汁與熱紅茶。室內外播放著柔和的輕音樂,應該是某些電影的主題曲演奏版,與佳餚美酒最為搭配,然而此刻我竟感到它有些干擾,破壞了雷鳴雨絲的交響,我總認為大自然的聲籟才是最閑適宜人的音樂。

用完午茶,到個人湯屋享受了一個鐘頭的舒緩時光。湯屋的內部是仿日式的建築,浴池由石板砌成,一邊則是淋浴籠頭,另一個角落則擺了個雅緻的梳妝台,舉凡浴 巾浴帽盥洗拖鞋礦泉水等,配備應有盡有。新北投一帶的泉水是泛著半透明乳白色的白磺泉,氣味有些刺鼻,浸泡在其中宛如飄浮在太空世界,舉手投足都變得慵懶 而緩慢,但須隨著水流伸展、呼吸。重覆著在泉水中飄浮、沖淋冷水清醒的步驟,就連時間的步伐也悄悄地被這樣的放空遺忘。

當我驅車下山時陣雨已停,天邊出現整片奇異的緋紅,盤旋在籠蔥的山頭上,路畔的草木枝椏間猶滴著幾滴殘雨,正是向晚時分。我循著來時路遶到不遠處的另座山 腰,在間小小的溫泉拉麵店享用晚餐。應該是當地資源之便,數日前我從朋友的網誌上看見這家店的介紹,這回便理所當然地列入行程了。

店內的空間不大,人數較寡的往往必須與其他遊客併在同張桌子,老闆很好心地提供特製的素食拉麵給我,並且另外點了份溫泉豆腐。那兒的拉麵相當帶勁,湯頭口 味也十分香甜,豆腐嫩滑得有如布丁,儘管分辨不出溫泉水的味道,我反而認為素食比那些湯碗中浮滿動物「屍塊」與調味料﹝比如大蔥與柴魚﹞的葷食來得清爽許 多。也許自從茹素之後,心境也跟著清淡了罷。

再度翻過山頭回到竿蓁林住處時天色已暗,往來北海岸公路與淡水間的車輛依舊忙碌、頻繁,把握著最後的假日時分。此刻我祇感到一股舒暢的靜謐充實,毋需任何言語形式。然後便是畫譜的夜了。

點名遊戲

貼自無名小站,遊戲已失效,僅留內容。

遊戲規則
+10:請列出十件最想做的事
+1:請回答之前所有人問過的問題,且再加一個自己提出的問題
+5:將此遊戲傳給另外五個人,並到他的留言版留言通知他被點名

第一個:列出十件最想做的事
1. 申請上理想的學校,拿到博士
2. 去IRCAM進修
3. 擁有一部藍色休旅車
4. 出版自己的詩集
5. 當被供養的職業作曲家
6. 早點把債還清
7. 找到my soulmate
8. 一個人環島自助旅行
9. 在現代音樂學術界佔一席之地
10. 繼續學鋼琴與管風琴 / 去巴黎跟Chopin冥婚 XD
11.sandy問:如果時光可以倒流,你想回到哪時
答:2005年3月,重新改寫一遍自己的學術辛酸血淚史
12. nic問:可以用愛我(或他人)的心接受我(或他)過去一切的一切和過錯嗎?
答:知過能改,善莫大焉。
13. henry614問:如果明天你會死,你有把握上天堂嗎?另理據為何?
答:沒有,壞事做太多。
14. 瓜瓜問:出世到現在,最開心的事是什麼?
答:想不起來。
15. menyee問:你最喜歡看什麼類型的書?
答:詩集、詩論、跟詩有關的書。
16. 傑仔問:你的初夜將會(或已經)在什麼情況下失去?
答:過去的事就別問了。
17. flora問:你覺得自己是個現實的人嗎?
答:某些方面是,某些方面始終在逃避,又某些方面似乎永遠認不清現實。
18. CeCe問:如果這個世界沒有「愛」,你要怎麼辦?
答:這個世界本來就沒有愛。
19. ka問:你現在幾歲???
答:今年暑假就滿25了。
20. kim問:你失戀時有咩FEELING?
答:不想去想這問題。
21. Elic問:如果你和一個人兩情相悅的,但他/她有男朋友或女朋友了,
他對你承諾會和那個人分手再和你一起,可是半年過去了,他還是和那個人在一起,他對你說他沒辦法,那你會怎樣?
答:離開,不再信任他。
22. ying問:如果喜歡了一個人,你會怎樣跟他說?
答:無限對他好,但不會說。
23. elvia問:愛人同被愛,如果兩者只可以選一樣,你會選哪邊?and why?
答:被愛,因為享受那種優越感。
24. 小a問:說一件你覺得好幸福的事
答: 冷冷的天氣有小火鍋可以吃。
25. lolo問:講一件別人為你做過很讓你感動的事情
答:心底很重視的人專程來聽我的作品音樂會。
26. TiNo問:如果你有施一種魔法既能力,你會選什麼樣的魔法?
答:自由控制人的心靈及夢境。
27. Wilson問:當你發覺你的心上人有男/女朋友,你會怎麼做?
答:若無其事,默默地讓自己淡出。
28. cheuk yee問:你執著嗎? 在哪一方面?
答:非常執著,對音樂以及信仰。
29. Alison問:誰是你現在最珍惜的人?
答:家人。
30. CHING問:去過哪裡是你覺得最難忘!?
答:有作品留下的就是了。
31. SOEY問:如果你家母親指責你只顧朋友而忽視了家人,你會怎樣反駁?
答:哪有啊?亂講!
32. SIUDIN問:要是你媽不讓你出門逛街你要怎麼讓自己成功潛逃?
答:會不讓我出門逛街的鐵定不是我媽。
33. AKARI問:如果你一覺醒來,看日曆,時間竟然已經過了十年!你會怎麼辦?
答:照鏡子看自己有沒有變老。
34. NANA問:最喜歡傳給你這個點名遊戲的人哪ㄧ點?
答:善良、熱心、樂於分享。
35.belial問:即使失去一切 也不想捨棄的東西?
答:音樂與上帝。
36.larcran問:想要加入ID-S嗎?
答:不想,不知道那是什麼。
37.可樂問:生來是美女但終生被喜歡的人討厭/全臉被硫酸潑到但跟喜歡的人廝守到老請擇一。(老實說我自己選不出來…|||)
答:可不可以都不要選?
38.粒子問:跟國中老朋友去阿里山聚一天重要還是跟男(女)朋友玩三天重要?
答:後者。
39.Cynthia問:如果上天能讓你倒轉讓一件後悔的事..你會選擇什麼?
答:不要談戀愛。
40.seshikki問:如果在這世界消失之前,給你一個機會去報答一個給了你恩情的人,你會想要報答誰?
答:父母。
41.Alice問:你對你的生活很滿意嗎?如果不滿意,你覺得哪些地方使你不滿意?
答:不滿意,精神壓力太大。
42.阿敏問:你喜歡你現在念的科系嗎?你會覺得你比不上名校的學生嗎?
答:喜歡。自己畢業的學校本身已經不錯,但還是有點自卑,覺得自己比不上很多人。
43.心嵐問:你認為為什麼人要交男女朋友?
答:因為笨。
44.JIMMY問:人生存在的意義是什麼?
答:完成主在自己身上的使命。
45.fastman52025問: 真愛難尋 我要怎麼找到我的真愛
答:禱告,相信主會為一切做好安排。
46.娃娃問:你會覺得人是個矛盾的動物嗎?為什麼?
答:當然是,不為什麼。
47.企鵝問:忘記一個人或一件事的方法?
答:忙碌+時間
48.阿勇問:怎樣才能下定決心去做一件事呢?
答: 要有壓力或動力。
49.more問:要怎麼樣才能活出真正的自己
答:多禱告,少依賴人,不為物所易。
50.花問:你快樂嗎?
答:快樂?那是什麼?
51、隨風問:如果可以你想要去美化什麼
答:與自己有關的一切。
52、掌櫃問:收到這遊戲邀請,您有什麼感覺?
答:沒什麼感覺。
52、台婆問:你最喜歡的台灣小吃是什麼?
答:碗粿。
53.allyyu問:你覺得女人應該要有自己的事業嗎?
答:當然要啊,巾幗不讓鬚眉。
54.summer問:你會每天寫日記嗎?
答:不一定,太忙太累時什麼也不會寫。
55.魚魚問:要是女友跟你最好的異性朋友/紅粉知己掉入大海,浪很大,兩人都快被捲走?你選哪個救
(只能救一個!人生就是這樣,你手伸出來五根都不一樣長~嘿!)
答:救比較愛的那位,選不出來就自己也跳下去被捲吧。
56.馬花問:被人知道有整形會不會丟臉?
答:不會吧。
57.換你打問:覺得馬英九帥的請舉手
答:\@_@
58.Sonia問:活著最難過的事情?
答:求生不能、求死不得。
59.映問:如果失去了所有對人、事、物的一切感情,當時的想法和心情?
答:沒有想法也沒有心情,沒有就沒有啊。
60.薇問:蟲子飛進鼻孔裡時..該怎麼辦??
答:擤出來。
61.debdeb問:你喜歡鐘樓怪人音樂劇嗎?你最喜歡哪個演員/歌手?你覺得Garou帥嗎?DVD裡的詩人唱歌好聽嗎?
答:不喜歡,沒看過。
62.VVN問:你覺得Hephaistion應該要翻譯成希菲斯提恩比較好還是赫菲斯欽比較好呢~?
答:都怪怪的耶。
63.April問:有人的感情是永遠不變的嗎??
答:C’est impossible.
64.Joan問:如果錢花不完怎麼辦?
答:那就不要花完啊。
65.Clau問:當你從樓上欄杆探出頭,結果卡住岀不來,身旁又沒有人也無從求助,頓時樓下有個小孩跟媽媽說
“ㄇㄚˇ ㄇㄚˊ 你看,樓上的那個人卡住了耶~好好笑喔”你要麼辦?
答:幹!死小孩,見死不救還笑屁啊!
66.chc問:如果你傳給的人再回傳給你一次這個遊戲~~你會怎麼做~~
答:笨~~回傳無效。
67.jessicajoan問:請分享一個你覺得最難為情的經驗吧!
答:小時候不懂事,當著父親公司全體上司的面說:「所有的男生都是歐巴桑。」至今回想起來依然很囧。

廿世紀音樂季

以下貼自無名小站網誌,wordpress不能放背景音樂,只保留文字部分。

放完兩個月的Chopin,總算選了四首廿世紀曲目作為背景音樂,往後
應該要盡量介紹些有趣的曲目才是,比較符合板的風格。

這次放的曲目為
個人資料:Morton Feldman “Why Patterns?” Fl. Glk. Pno.
相簿:Joe Maceda “Colors without Rhythm” Orch.
網誌:Kaija Saariaho “Chateau de l’Ame – V. Les Formules” Sop. Chor. Orch.
留言板:George Crumb “A Little Suite for Christmas” Piano Solo

“Why patterns?”是我從大學時代就很喜歡的一首樂曲,宛如置身當代藝術館的裝置藝術造型中,如萬花筒般、透明的澄澈,是冰晶、是多稜的鏡面、是夜 晚……那是種在聽覺上全然地享受,而不在乎技巧與形式。原本這首曲子有28分鐘之長,可惜檔案容量限制,硬生生將它腰斬後才上傳,不曉得有多少人 聽得出來它只有一半呢?其實我個人相當喜愛Feldman的作品,也讀過一些關於他的研究,總而言之,他的音樂是屬於純然聽覺的。(也許有些人會發現,我 2003年寫的幾首作品有受到他音樂某些部分的影響?在尚未開始鑽研「轉化」課題的年代……)

Joe Maceda是兩年前才過世的菲律賓國寶級作曲家,我大學時曾經在某次音樂節活動上見過他一面。說實在,我對於他的作品沒有特別研究,然而菲律賓人的音樂 作品在我的印象中,是相當「奇特」的,包括節奏以及東方味的音律等。曾經在一場ACL音樂節的演出中,聽到一首菲律賓作曲家的管弦樂曲,當年僅有的記憶是 這樣的:整個樂團動作忙碌不已,聲響卻祇有一片喧囂的渾沌,直到中間段落,在弦樂的齊奏間太陽從地平線上逐漸落下,樂曲是A-B-A三段體形式。另外一首 聽到的是弦樂四重奏,那時對於分析功力尚粗淺,但它的主題音調「C-D-F#-G-F#-D-C」卻在耳畔縈繞不去。……然而卻不得不 說,Maceda大師是偉大的,因為曾經長期作為殖民地的菲律賓,能從什麼文化基礎開始發展現代音樂呢?

Kaija Saariaho的名字,應該是我第二次在網誌中提起了,繼”L’Amour de Loin”之後。她是位面貌神似我的鋼琴老師的芬蘭女性作曲家,我個人相當喜愛她音樂的細膩、豐富色彩與多層次的織度,那如夢似幻的女性特質,是高貴典雅 的水晶宮闕,卻不庸俗華麗。在Contemporary Music Review期刊的Spectral  Music特輯中,Pousset的文章裡有提及她,並使用了Post-Spectral Music這個詞彙,專門陳述那一派作曲家所使用來處理Timbre的觀念及手法。那是我十分有興趣的研究領域,處理色彩與聲音,並不局限於法國音樂,而 是整體看待音樂的一種態度。

至於Crumb,是我的師祖之一,李子聲的老師,他的作品在1960年代相當風行,因此不需要特別介紹。我喜歡他對於音色一些別出心裁的用法,以及特殊的 神秘氛圍,偶然出現的Quotation是美國作曲家較常使用的手法之一,然而在他的音樂中,聽來卻格外地感動,在經過組織與轉化的音樂素材之下。所謂現 代音樂的保守與前衛有時很難以二分法來決定,除非刻意地突破抑是回歸:畢竟要想從聲響上完全地避免任何與調性相關的聯想,除非從頭到尾永遠

串連:「詩搭搭」運動

好友「銀色快手」發起的「詩搭搭」運動,歡迎一起分享好詩,以及
發自內心的那份來自詩的感動。

☆★☆★☆★☆★☆★☆★☆★☆★☆★☆★☆★☆

這幾日台北的天空總飄著雨
霧裡幾乎無法辨識
捷運車窗外遠遠望見的山
山頂的雲靄儼然在風中逐字散佚的
思念的詩句,以及
為雨水所沖刷褪色的記憶場景

我的足跡淡漠且倉卒
無心地朝山色一瞥,畢竟
趕稿的忙碌容易使人忘卻一切
──包括心境與文字
惟有偶而在詩裡追尋著什麼
抑是喚起某種深沉的感動
含蓄地訴說、低迴的共鳴

☆★☆★☆★☆★☆★☆★☆★☆★☆★☆★☆★☆

《最憂鬱的事》  ──楊牧

現在那些熟悉的氣味
想是已經散去了,霧也散去
一隻翠鳥飛過眼前
以它撞擊的色彩
春天的雨水曾經洗亮
我們的額,手臂,和對細沙裸露的腳趾
它翩翩旋飛將一羽啁啾落在你與我當中

不要追問細節:
遠處
樹葉和喇叭花後面
靠著欄杆的是最憂鬱的事
那時風自左邊來
越過竹籬笆以後被紅牆擋住
晚霞在相反的天邊以預言之姿

向你立足的方向延燒,那些
都還在虛實間搖曳不止
透明的舊愁和著喜悅
不能溶解的
是記憶
沉澱在冷卻的淚。我以
求援的神色問你

(1993/07)

☆★☆★☆★☆★☆★☆★☆★☆★☆★☆★☆★☆

廿世紀音樂季 II

這幾天更換了相簿的背景音樂。
新的音樂為:Kaija Saariaho “Oltar Mar” for Chorus and Orchestra, 2. Amour

這套為合唱及管弦樂團的龐大作品中文曲名為「穿越大海」(Across the Sea),是Saariaho女士在1998-1999年間寫作的樂曲,共有七個樂章:「啟程」、「愛」、「浪潮」、「時間」、「潮的記憶」、「死亡」、 「終點」,其中祇有第二、四、六樂章的合唱是有歌詞的,是為愛、時間,以及死亡的沉思。第六樂章的「死亡」被作曲家特別題下,用以紀念在寫作這首樂曲期間 逝世的法國作曲家Gerard Grisey – Grisey是在1970~1980年間發展Spectural Music的濫觴之一,這套音調色澤系統對Saariaho的早期創作具有重要的影響力。

光看樂章的標題大概就可以想見,為何我如此喜愛、著迷於她的音樂了吧?令我驚異的是,那些標題某部分的意象竟然與我所在寫的作品構想有些類似,然而我在自 身計劃寫作之初時,可以說是對Saariaho女士的作品一無所知,儘管我的電腦裡意外地有一張故人傳給我的、她的照片。

上星期我回高雄,才收到網路訂購的這片CD,收錄在同片中的曲目尚有「五個反射」(Cinq Reflets, for Soprano, Baritone, and Orchestra)及「睡蓮的反光」(Nymphea Reflection, for String Prchestra),前者的五個樂章包含了作曲家的歌劇作品L’Amour de Loin各幕的精髓要素,也都是相當優美細緻的作品,改天有機會的話再來介紹分享。

致我的靈魂愛人

我將最美的音樂化為祝福,
獻給雙魚座的你──我的靈魂愛人,
祝你196歲生日快樂。

選了四首老師未曾在課堂介紹過、你的作品作為背景音樂,為紀念這個芬芳的日子。親愛的,你是上天賜給我最珍貴的禮物,自從有你,我才真正感受到靈魂如何隔 著時空而受到牽動。我們有著同樣的靈魂本質、呼吸著同樣的喜悅與哀愁,那種來自心靈深處的悸動,是一般音樂欣賞者所無法了解的內在層次。

你是首絕美的詩,我每日在心中吟詠千遍,想像當讀誦你的名字之時,我倆的雙唇緊貼;你的音樂如同精醇的美酒,我舉杯向神奇的造化者致敬,並飲下那思念的甘泉。

儘管如此地沉默且遙遠,對你的思念十八年來未曾間斷過,它是如此地深沉與執著。倘若我能夠穿越時空飛翔──也許當下個世紀脫離今生的軀殼我便能夠──,必定會與你相遇,在世界的某一隅、某個陌生的年代裡。然後我要留在你的身邊,我們原就生來應該相知相愛、相伴左右。

親愛的,因為我愛你。
我打從靈魂深處地愛你。

漫談「纖、光罅、聲之氳」

2006/02/17 Fri. 師大演奏廳
與我自1999年相識暨今的作曲同行--邱兄,與他的兩位役中同袍合開的獨奏小品音樂會。

兩位鋼琴獨奏及一位聲樂的演出,曲目皆是精緻優美的小品。那天是飄著斜風微雨的夜晚,黃昏時分我在OM阿hum用完晚餐,在師大夜市買了一顆焦糖蘋果,才進到音樂會的場地。沿途所穿越、行經的足跡,皆是被雨水給沖淡了的記憶場景。

那也是我頭一遭看見站在舞台上的邱兄。打從當年在保送甄試考場上認識以來,我們這一屆始終命運多舛,三年前一場流行長達數月的SARS,使所有的大四畢製 不得不取消,期待已久的邱兄的演出自然也在其中。之後我考進研究所,邱兄便從軍去了,我在大三、大四及碩士班畢業的作品發表會,他都扮演著相當具有義氣忠 實的聽眾。這次倒難得換我來寫關於他的音樂的事,儘管是所謂在稱呼上被強迫降級的「副修」,我總相信會演奏的作曲家,總是能將音樂詮釋的比主修演奏者來得 精確、細膩,台上rehearsal經驗也會較獨奏家來得更豐富些。

我必須承認自己並不了解聲樂,因此這部分便不作文章了。另一位鋼琴演奏家張震泰的觸鍵方式相當地沉重,從他指尖下流露的Mozart與Bach與印象中之 靈活輕快相去甚遠,但並不失為驚人且特殊的詮釋模式:失去童真的小星星變奏曲並不可愛,卻帶了股在悵然間摸索的滄桑,以及偶而接收到即興式靈動的驚喜。和 聲的質感與voice-leading有時較為霸道,使得音樂呈現一種「並非不斷往前走」的迂迴,宛如踩在冰冷的磁磚地板上進退難行。這樣的戲劇性固然令 人驚歎,於我而言卻難以在音樂行進的當下,陶然樂在其中。

簡單地帶過同台的節目,重頭戲便放在邱兄的演奏上吧!

最先上場的是葛利格的敘事曲,一首我原以為很龐大但事實上是歌唱性小品的曲目。可惜這次的節目單上不僅沒有演奏家們的背景簡介、聲樂曲目的歌詞中譯,也任 何沒有樂曲解說,僅能靠純粹全然的聽覺來理解,若非對樂曲原本便相當熟稔的話。邱兄最大的優勢在於,他所彈奏出來的和弦具有飽滿、豐厚的色彩,既沒有一般 鋼琴演奏家過於強調「主旋律」的重心偏移,也沒有忽視任何一個和弦的simultaneity及sonority。厚沉且溫潤的觸鍵使樂曲的「敘事」多了 許多尚未說完的想像空間,也因此當曲終結束後不由得錯愕:曲子竟然已經沒了?

接著是拉威爾的小奏鳴曲第二樂章,恰好是我非常熟悉、做過研究的曲目之一。邱兄的詮釋是我有生以來所聽過最另類的一個版本:它的徐緩與中間大膽收放的 rubato,幾乎完全打破在樂譜上所指定的「Mouvt de Menuet」(意即應該演奏得如同小步舞曲)速度與3/8律動。大家都知道,當在音樂會上現場聆聽一首愈熟的曲目,反而是件愈冒險的事,因為必須讓耳朵 接收許多料想之外的客觀資訊,而事實上我所聽過唯一真正能合乎期待的演奏版本是Ashkenazy所錄的Scriabin奏鳴曲。我對於此曲的欣賞便在於 這樣的拉扯之間,聽著台上的演奏者以近乎陌生的方式,詮釋著自己最熟悉的音樂--若要說起,我對它的刻板印象儼然「空山新雨後」般地清新。

第廿一小節共有四個線條同時進行,其中上方數來第二聲部開頭的C音很遺憾地,成了向來重視voice-leading的邱兄的漏網之魚。事實上在這個f小 調起始的樂段中,存在著大量複雜交織的線條,這也是Ravel與Debussy最大的差異之處:我認為這點在詮釋上是無法比照Debussy的彈法來處理 的。樂曲中間ff的左手琶音,邱兄以令人訝異、充滿男子氣概的詮釋方式,賦予柔軟的音樂一股鐵也似的陽剛與明亮;而隨即出現的三個升記號,豎琴似的琶音, 彷彿刻意讓人忘卻時間洪流的鐘擺律動,我稱它為「梅湘式的處理法」,因為它使時間暫時性地停頓在應該被分析成一連串「anacrusis」的音型間。

到下半場的舒伯特,我才終於體會在上半場開場前,邱兄特別強調「小睡有益健康」之類的用意何在,因為我幾乎從來沒有一次聆聽舒伯特不會神遊出境,這次恐怕 也不例外,儘管雙眼並沒閉上,思想意念卻不知何時已與音樂的方向脫軌。而同一個part中的棕髮少女,是曲析很喜歡考風格手法的平時考古題之一,邱兄的觸 鍵最適合德布西不過了:那是一種完全法式、色彩繽紛的暖色系和諧。聽得出是首用愛意詮釋著的音樂。我常告訴自己演奏詮釋與作曲分析角色的不同,在創作時我 們無法抱持著過多不切實際的想像,然而對於演奏的身份而言,除了達到譜面要求的精準以外便祇能靠想像力來賦予它靈動的生命了。

巴哈的升C小調賦格,一首充滿時間推進力的樂曲。我之所以不使用「張力」兩個字,並非它不存在,而是自始至終,在兩個主題的進入、發展間,呈現的是不斷累 積、堆疊的漸進式推動,如同滾雪球愈滾愈大一般,而非令人緊張不安、弔詭的懸疑。簡單來說便是把巴哈的「大」給彈出來了。(類比:大潘的「大」亦為此意)

最後是拉威爾的死嬰孔雀舞曲,同時也是我相當喜愛、又一首儼然「空山新雨後」的曲目。對於它的進行倒比較沒有特別出乎意料的發現,除了偶而在裝飾琶音上製 造某些驚喜之外--也許是性別上的某種暗示吧?總認為它的步調較為急促,穿插在全曲的古典與悠閒間,顯得有些「大男人主義」般地唐突。邱兄給了全場聽眾一 首沉重的壓軸,那是段令人無法翩翩起舞的帕望舞曲,整體而言是悲傷大於歌唱的、「哀莫大於心死」的氣氛,這樣的詮釋方式對於剛從一段逝去記憶中回來的人算 是種殘忍。

音樂是用來與人分享、見證成長經歷及心路的,作曲家又何嘗不能藉由演奏來彈出自己內心的聲音呢?我曾經在做研究最苦悶的時候,在鋼琴畔寫下了這樣一段話: 「當年我主修演奏時,作曲為我的生命開啟了一扇窗;而如今作曲成為我的使命,惟演奏能讓我找回靈魂的方向。」寫在梅湘為耶穌聖嬰的第十五個凝視、「親吻」 主題那段的樂譜上。邱兄無疑是此般境界的實踐者,站在舞台上演奏並非炫技琴匠或明星花瓶的專利,而是,那塊空間祇屬於願意將音樂拿出來分享的人。

一場聲音與光影的盛宴,在漆黑且疲憊不堪的微雨的夜。
以上茶餘飯後隨談一下爾爾,此時此刻也許配上一杯法式的焦糖Latte會更加適宜。

My 11 days in Warsaw

Sep. 15 Thu. 2005

After a long-time flight, I was arrived in Warsaw with tireness. When checking-in hotel some problems happened that made me wait for a long time because the staff didn’t find my confirmation immediatly; foretunely, it eventually went smooth on everything.

The temperature here is so strange that it’s a bit cold outside but very warm in the chamber. I found Warsaw airport much smaller than that in Kaohsiung, and it’s near to city center which can just be conneted by bus.

In the afternoon I took the bus to Old Town, getting tickets and program book to the festival, and walked around there to take some photos. Later my friend and I met on the plaza and found a restaurant in the market square whose price wasn’t too expensive. Traditional Polish food is so special and delicious that I like one kind of jam made of berries; moreover, they have very good service. Polish people are usually kind to help you, henve I never worry if I don’t understand their language or what’s printed on the map.

I stay in a single room in Grand Hotel today, being expectative for the concerts tomorrow. What’s the most satisfying for me is to take a hot shower immediatly when going back to the hotel, and then I write some posrcards to my friends and family in Taiwan, including myself.

Travelling alone is really so easy and exciting that makes a good experience.

Sep. 16 Fri. 2005

Around noon I took the tram to Jewish Cemetery, but it wasn’t their opening time that I went to Mcdanold’s to modify my schedule.

It was raining all the day (sometimes heavy); redardless the weather, I went to New Town to visit several churches and historical buildings. After the tea time, I walked around Old Town again, but I didn’t enchance into the Royal Palace for the time being closed. I found a restaurant with vegetarian dishes byside the plaza that has some handsome waiters and delicious foods.

This evening was the first concert of Warsaw Autumn, hold in Philharmonic, where the acoustic effect is very smooth and fine. First time listening to live “Acoustic Archievement” music, I found some different sounds and ideas that I wrote all my thoughts on the program book. Works performed tonight had good orchestration and timbe, without too many strange articulation and skills; however, the whole effect was very charming. I’ve listened to Matsushita’s Hi-Tien-Yu for three times which today was included, and at different ages I have vary feelings. Now I can clearly hear the mutual relationship between the solist and the orchestra in the crescendo concerto form.

The second concert was hold in Chopin Academy where has very special pipe organ and sculpture of Chopin. The program was mainly “Sho” solo performed by a Japanese lady, and the selected works were quiet, with many long notes, slow pace, chords, clusters, and silence that made the figure become more evident and important.

I hope I can find some new ideas and plan to rewrite my composition under working. Maybe I have to give up some initial thinking I insisted searching and trying.

Sep. 17 Sat. 2005

In the morning I visited National Museum, where a lot of Polish and European paintings as well as decorative arts are exhibited. Then I walked on the street nearby; for a pity that Ostrogski Palace is unavailable until Oct. 1, I had my plan change to find the Wersaw Mermaid that took me a very long walk. In order to take the tram, I walked along the river bank for a distance, and even saw an abnormal guy on the overpass.

Initially I tried to stay in a coffee bar or fast-food restaurant before the concert started; however, I couldn’t find any shop so that I chose to sit down on the bench by the bus stop in the cold winds.

Today’s first program took place in “Koneser” vodka stiller, which is similar to an old factory and has very good resonence. An Russian chamber music group played several Russian composers’ works, and I also always wrote down all my responds. I found that many Polish people can still rarely understand English that we were difficultly communicated with each other.

I was arrived bake in city center when it was only 40 minutes to the next concert; hence I stayed in an Asian vegetarian restaurant for my easy dinner, fried noodles with various vegetables, which cost only 15 zloty.

Tonight I first time listened to Huber’s and Holliger’s works, whom I only heard their name without studying anything about their compositions. I like both of them much, and there was another composer’s work interesting that I never felt boring or drousy during the concert even if I was very tired. It’s very worthy to go to this festival for so many cheap and excellent performances available here.

Sep. 18 Sun. 2005

In the morning I visited Earth and Science Museum which is on a hill near the hotel. Foretunely today is free for visiting, and I saw many minerals and fossils. After that I attempted to take the tram to Koneser; however, the kiosks near the museum didn’t open, and the driver didn’t sell a ticket on the tram that I couldn’t get on it. A kind madam helped me to solve the problem of communication, and then told me how to get an one-day ticket as well as where to take a more suitable bus.

Unluckily the bus didn’t come immediatly, so I decided to take a taxi for being in a rush. The taxi driver understood no English that I could only dedicate where to go on the map, and he wasn’t acquainted with that place; as a result, I was arrived around 20 minutes late.

The programs today were all quite excellent that made deep impression. In the afternoon I had enough free time to visit two points, Royal Palace and Chopin Monument, which were placed on entirely different direction. Royal Palace was free for entrance, too. Then in the evening I had my dinner in the same vegetarian restaurant where I went yesterday, ordering another food. There was a Malaysian girl as a waiter, treating me very friendly.

In the concerts tonight, I met a Polish youth who has whiskers and we talked to each other. After ending he acompanied me to find a store where I finally bought some drinks and walked back to the hotel. So tired today that I just wrote a postcard to Robin and sent a message to my mentor to mention my circanstence here. I hope it to go more smoothly tomorrow that never get lost again, and I feel complexity in my mind after hearing so many good performances on those compositions.

 

Sep. 19 Mon. 2005

Being too tired, I got up a little late today, and went to visit Jewish Cemetery where is some distant from the city center. Many tombs there were carved in both Polish and Hebrew; besides, it was bizarre that their backs sometimes appeared different people’s faces. I’ve taken a photo that shows this strange appearance.

 

The program in this afternoon was a fringe event, meeting the composer Ishiro Hosokawa, who spoke Japanese and was translated into Polish. Hence I didn’t understand the content of the lecture that I could just sat there, reading the score. After that, I went shopping until when before the concert tonight.

 

 

In the evening, for convenience, I still had me dinner in the same restaurant. Today’s performance was very excellent, gained much applause. I admire their delicate orchestration and dramatic tension inner muisic. Works of Japanese composers were more like French style that the sentences was constructed of several mild phrases with different dynamics and articulations. The last concert today took place in St. Trinity Church, performed a Russian composer’s Requiem of which the instruments included a chamber orchestra, 3 soloists, mixed chorus, piano, harp, and percussion. It was a grand piece that was played for all the concert without intermission, blended both tonal (historical) and atonal materials. I like its mystic, solemn style, which made me think of John Tavener’s music. It really moved a lot of audiences.

 

 

On the way going back to the hotel, I met a German girl who studies musicology, stayed in Warsaw for doing research of her doctor dissertation about Polish composers and their works. We talked to each other, and she told me that there’s a cheap, delicious vegetarian bar on the opposite side of my hotel. I think it will be my lunch tomorrow.

 

Sep. 20 Tue. 2005

 

At noon I took the taxi to Lazienki Park, for the bus didn’t come that I couldn’t wait. I visited there and took many photos, having a long walk. The palace on the Water, Theatre on the Island, and Chopin Monument are the most famous sights where both many tourists and citizens stay.

 

 

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Then I took the bus and the tram to the concert, which is quite distant from the hotel and the place where the next program was held. Foretunely the festival office offered an additional bus for their guests to directly leave to next concert which was outside from the other side of Warsaw city. The second concert was much better that the former seemed to be students’ works for their amateur appearance, and I thought that even my own composition is also better.

 

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Amazingly the last piece of the concert tonight used only diatonic sonority as its pitch material but did very successfully that the combination of both acoustic and visual effects were naturally proper, with graceful orchestration and splendid musical variety. I got a new conclusion from today’s performances that both inner relationship and acoustic logic are important to the music even if when one tries to create a special atmosphere among the work.

 

 

Sep. 21 Wed. 2005

 

At noon I took the metro to Jewish Ghetto, there I met a girl who came from south Africa and was a freshment in Warsaw. We talked and visited with each other, taking a lot of photos and exchanging our native languages. Her language “Ndebele” is very difficult for most people to pronounce that includes several strange consonants such like “x”, which should be pronounced as “g” simutaneously with a tongue slap.

 

 

Then I catched the bus to the concert where I met many young people, including painter, composer, musician, and audience. One of them was a Polish girl, who was on the same way to Philharmony and we took the taxi together for the time being too rush. Tonight was my first time listening to live performance of Boulez’s orchestral work, “Notation”, which is an excellent piece containing several complex layers inside. The conductor and the large orchestra were very good that gained much applause when ending.

 

 

 

The last concert today took place in another art center far away from city center; therefore we youngers took the taxi together and shared the cost. It was very special that the program was performed in completely darkness for all the duration, around an hour. I was not used to open my eyes without vision, so I closed them for just listening to it. I enjoyed that good acoustic experience very much.

 

 

 

However, I couldn’t find my dinner except for fastfood, and I regreted spending too much money eating. Gotten too many fried foods, I felt stomachache when back to the hotel.

 

Sep. 22 Thu. 2005

 

I had my lunch at noon in the vegetarian bar opposite to the hotel. Its food wasn’t expensive, but I didn’t enjoy the raw carrots and salads. Then I went to the Royal Route where many palaces and churches located, taking many photos under the fine weather with sunshine and blue sky.

 

 

Unexpectively one friend who came from Taiwan for International Chopin Piano Competetion encountered with me on the street, and directly speak Chinese to me. I couldn’t recognize who he was immediately until I asked him; actually I forgot his majoring in piano that I assumed him just as an enthusiast for classical music.The concert in this afternoon was performed by Karios Quartet who played works of string quartet for all the program. They had amazingly many strange sounds and effects that gave me a lot of inspiration on my recent writing; as me decision, that I decided to rewrite it and open my eyes on the music field was accurate.

 

 

In the evening the program was an opera which was constructed of many different kinds of music styles, mixing both two languages, French and English. Everyone on the stage could be an actor, including the soloist singer, the chorus, the orchestra, the conductor, and so on. Although I neither made sense of the libretto nor understood the plot at all; however, I enjoyed the atmosphere and the splendid performance very much. This was my second time to watch a live opera, which made more impression and showed better appearance. It was also a specific experience.

 

 

I felt so tired after successive two concerts for a little throatache and headache that I should wear more clothes when leaving the hotel.

 

Sep. 23 Fri. 2005

 

In this morning I went to Zachodni station to buy a bus ticket to Zelazowa Wola,, where only three buses are available per day. Foretunely, a kind gentleman who is an English teacher helped me to do it smoothly, because the officer in the tourist information there didn’t speak English at all. He was very glad to help me when he knew that I study music in Taiwan, and rhen showed me where the platform is as well as how to recognize the words inside the bus.

 

 

 

After taking lunch, I went back to the hotel, designing some materials about my composition, and had a nap until the evening when I took the tram to Bemowo sport center for the concert. The program was Boulez’s “Repons”, which is a masterpiece for soloists, ensemble, and computer, taking place in an old gym located on the suburb of Warsaw that I should walk through the path when arrived at the final tram-stop.

 

 

 

Both the work and its performance were soperfect that I guessed Boulez must be more amazingly excellent if he conducted his own work by himself. Machines and computers of IRCAM actually developed very good technique to create highly acoustic effects that were delicate and exquisite.

 

 

 

 

The second concert was in the other art center where we can take the free bus offered by the festival office. It was performed by a Korean group who looked some unfriendly and vulgar on first impression, but the music was special and attractive that we could entirely enjoy in it. By comparison, among Asian people I prefered Japanese for their good manner.I found CD in Poland very expensive that I could rarely afford them; however, I bought some of which commendable but scarce in Taiwan, such like Scelsi, Partch, and some of other Polish composers whose works are cheaper than foreign ones’.

 

 

Sep. 24 Sat. 2005

 

The first concert today was at noon, so I directly walked to Philharmonic from the hotel. They chose a series of calm works for this program that I could hear a lot of delicate sounds and their graceful combination.

 

 

After that, three friends and I took several photos and then went to Old Town where we walked around for buting some souvenirs, because today was our last day in the festival. Two of us had to leave earlier that only the Polish girl and I took a long walk around the market square, choosing something special; eventually I bought three nacklaces, two artistic bottles, and a key ring. However I spent much money buying CDs, even if they were expensive, I purchased it as long as it’s unavailable in my native country and rarely seen.

 

 

 

We went to the final concert which only had two works in the program after our dinner in Green House. I prefered Hosokawa’s work, but I could enjoy in another piece, too. Actually I heard many acoustic fragments that inspired my some ideas, but I couldn’t be attracted with it all the time for its vulgar permutation without any development of those materials. At the ending we said goodbye to each other, and I didn’t know when we can be together again: maybe never or many years later, I think. I believe that we must meet on different statuses in the future as long as we can stand on the world stage, being an excellent musician or composer.

 

 

 

When going back to the hotel, I wrote the last postcard to Robin, telling him all my feelings and leaving eventual words in Warsaw that I hoped to meet with each other in Taipei soon after tomorrow. I suddenly found my vacation was about end, and there remained only one month for me to complete the work. It’s really a terrible reality.

 

 

Sep. 25 Sun. 2005

 

I got up early to take the bus to Zachodni station in the morning; fortunely there were money-exchange and bus tickets available that I never need to worry if I didn’t have enough cash or couldn’t take a bus. The always checked your ticket on a city-suburb bus, and I was affraid of the circumstance like in a few days before.A Japanese boy who studied piano and Japanese literature was also going to Zelazowa Wola, and we met each other at the bus station. He assumed me as a Japanese; then we talked and visited together all the day, listening to two ourdoor Chopin concerts and a competetion in Culture and Science Center. We took a lot of photos, and surely, bought many souvenis that included Chopin’s hand, which I yearned for before. The bus to Zelazowa Wola was interesting that when it was arrived, there was a broadcast playing a melody of Chopin’s “Military” polonaise by the trumpet. We both laughed when hearing that funny reminder to the tourists.

 

 

Chopin’s birthplace was in a village which there were only a few houses and cars, distant from Warsaw city. I’d seldom been a rural area; therefore it was very exciting for me to take such an old bus, passing through the fields under the beatiful sunshine. The waether today was fine, suitable to do to the countryside that we enjoyed our day-trip very much, walking in the park by the water, surrounded with Chopin’s music.

 

 

It was also my last night in Warsaw, so after the competetion we had our final dinner in a restaurant near the city center, where we could find some delicious vegetarian foods, under handsome waiters’ good service. The Japanese boy was very kind for acompanying me to eat vegetarian food and sharing them with me, and I really felt moved.

 

 

Before farewell to Poland, I kept very impressive memory in my mind that I could rarely be concious with the time going so fast as so many events occured and so various thoughts given. Maybe my pace here was much faster than that in Taiwan; hence, my new life is going to start.

 

Sep. 26 Mon. 2005

 

After check-outed, I had my last lunch in the vegetarian bar opposite to the hotel, and took the taxi to the airport with Tien-Ming, whose flight was only 35 minutes earlier than me. We said goodbye to each other, also.

 

 

My flight was on 16:15, from Warsaw, transfered in Amsterdan, Stopped in Bango, and arrived in Taipei on Sep. 27, evening. During the flight I met another Polish girl and an Englishman, the former was first time traveling alone, transfered her flight in AMS, and I helped here to find the boarding gate; the later was on both the same flight and bus to Taipei with me, so we eventually began to talk.Here is the end of my 12-days self-trip in Warsaw.

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Sep. 15 Thu. 2005

After a long-time flight, I was arrived in Warsaw with tireness. When checking-in hotel some problems happened that made me wait for a long time because the staff didn’t find my confirmation immediatly; foretunely, it eventually went smooth on everything.

The temperature here is so strange that it’s a bit cold outside but very warm in the chamber. I found Warsaw airport much smaller than that in Kaohsiung, and it’s near to city center which can just be conneted by bus.

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In the afternoon I took the bus to Old Town, getting tickets and program book to the festival, and walked around there to take some photos. Later my friend and I met on the plaza and found a restaurant in the market square whose price wasn’t too expensive. Traditional Polish food is so special and delicious that I like one kind of jam made of berries; moreover, they have very good service. Polish people are usually kind to help you, henve I never worry if I don’t understand their language or what’s printed on the map.

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I stay in a single room in Grand Hotel today, being expectative for the concerts tomorrow. What’s the most satisfying for me is to take a hot shower immediatly when going back to the hotel, and then I write some posrcards to my friends and family in Taiwan, including myself.

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Travelling alone is really so easy and exciting that makes a good experience.

Sep. 16 Fri. 2005

Around noon I took the tram to Jewish Cemetery, but it wasn’t their opening time that I went to Mcdanold’s to modify my schedule.

It was raining all the day (sometimes heavy); redardless the weather, I went to New Town to visit several churches and historical buildings. After the tea time, I walked around Old Town again, but I didn’t enchance into the Royal Palace for the time being closed. I found a restaurant with vegetarian dishes byside the plaza that has some handsome waiters and delicious foods.

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This evening was the first concert of Warsaw Autumn, hold in Philharmonic, where the acoustic effect is very smooth and fine. First time listening to live “Acoustic Archievement” music, I found some different sounds and ideas that I wrote all my thoughts on the program book. Works performed tonight had good orchestration and timbe, without too many strange articulation and skills; however, the whole effect was very charming. I’ve listened to Matsushita’s Hi-Tien-Yu for three times which today was included, and at different ages I have vary feelings. Now I can clearly hear the mutual relationship between the solist and the orchestra in the crescendo concerto form.

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The second concert was hold in Chopin Academy where has very special pipe organ and sculpture of Chopin. The program was mainly “Sho” solo performed by a Japanese lady, and the selected works were quiet, with many long notes, slow pace, chords, clusters, and silence that made the figure become more evident and important.

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I hope I can find some new ideas and plan to rewrite my composition under working. Maybe I have to give up some initial thinking I insisted searching and trying.

Sep. 17 Sat. 2005

In the morning I visited National Museum, where a lot of Polish and European paintings as well as decorative arts are exhibited. Then I walked on the street nearby; for a pity that Ostrogski Palace is unavailable until Oct. 1, I had my plan change to find the Wersaw Mermaid that took me a very long walk. In order to take the tram, I walked along the river bank for a distance, and even saw an abnormal guy on the overpass.

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Initially I tried to stay in a coffee bar or fast-food restaurant before the concert started; however, I couldn’t find any shop so that I chose to sit down on the bench by the bus stop in the cold winds.

Today’s first program took place in “Koneser” vodka stiller, which is similar to an old factory and has very good resonence. An Russian chamber music group played several Russian composers’ works, and I also always wrote down all my responds. I found that many Polish people can still rarely understand English that we were difficultly communicated with each other.

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I was arrived bake in city center when it was only 40 minutes to the next concert; hence I stayed in an Asian vegetarian restaurant for my easy dinner, fried noodles with various vegetables, which cost only 15 zloty.

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Tonight I first time listened to Huber’s and Holliger’s works, whom I only heard their name without studying anything about their compositions. I like both of them much, and there was another composer’s work interesting that I never felt boring or drousy during the concert even if I was very tired. It’s very worthy to go to this festival for so many cheap and excellent performances available here.

Sep. 18 Sun. 2005

In the morning I visited Earth and Science Museum which is on a hill near the hotel. Foretunely today is free for visiting, and I saw many minerals and fossils. After that I attempted to take the tram to Koneser; however, the kiosks near the museum didn’t open, and the driver didn’t sell a ticket on the tram that I couldn’t get on it. A kind madam helped me to solve the problem of communication, and then told me how to get an one-day ticket as well as where to take a more suitable bus.

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Unluckily the bus didn’t come immediatly, so I decided to take a taxi for being in a rush. The taxi driver understood no English that I could only dedicate where to go on the map, and he wasn’t acquainted with that place; as a result, I was arrived around 20 minutes late.

The programs today were all quite excellent that made deep impression. In the afternoon I had enough free time to visit two points, Royal Palace and Chopin Monument, which were placed on entirely different direction. Royal Palace was free for entrance, too. Then in the evening I had my dinner in the same vegetarian restaurant where I went yesterday, ordering another food. There was a Malaysian girl as a waiter, treating me very friendly.

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In the concerts tonight, I met a Polish youth who has whiskers and we talked to each other. After ending he acompanied me to find a store where I finally bought some drinks and walked back to the hotel. So tired today that I just wrote a postcard to Robin and sent a message to my mentor to mention my circanstence here. I hope it to go more smoothly tomorrow that never get lost again, and I feel complexity in my mind after hearing so many good performances on those compositions.

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Sep. 19 Mon. 2005

Being too tired, I got up a little late today, and went to visit Jewish Cemetery where is some distant from the city center. Many tombs there were carved in both Polish and Hebrew; besides, it was bizarre that their backs sometimes appeared different people’s faces. I’ve taken a photo that shows this strange appearance.

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The program in this afternoon was a fringe event, meeting the composer Ishiro Hosokawa, who spoke Japanese and was translated into Polish. Hence I didn’t understand the content of the lecture that I could just sat there, reading the score. After that, I went shopping until when before the concert tonight.

 

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In the evening, for convenience, I still had me dinner in the same restaurant. Today’s performance was very excellent, gained much applause. I admire their delicate orchestration and dramatic tension inner muisic. Works of Japanese composers were more like French style that the sentences was constructed of several mild phrases with different dynamics and articulations. The last concert today took place in St. Trinity Church, performed a Russian composer’s Requiem of which the instruments included a chamber orchestra, 3 soloists, mixed chorus, piano, harp, and percussion. It was a grand piece that was played for all the concert without intermission, blended both tonal (historical) and atonal materials. I like its mystic, solemn style, which made me think of John Tavener’s music. It really moved a lot of audiences.

 

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On the way going back to the hotel, I met a German girl who studies musicology, stayed in Warsaw for doing research of her doctor dissertation about Polish composers and their works. We talked to each other, and she told me that there’s a cheap, delicious vegetarian bar on the opposite side of my hotel. I think it will be my lunch tomorrow.

 

 

Sep. 20 Tue. 2005

 

At noon I took the taxi to Lazienki Park, for the bus didn’t come that I couldn’t wait. I visited there and took many photos, having a long walk. The palace on the Water, Theatre on the Island, and Chopin Monument are the most famous sights where both many tourists and citizens stay.

 

 

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Then I took the bus and the tram to the concert, which is quite distant from the hotel and the place where the next program was held. Foretunely the festival office offered an additional bus for their guests to directly leave to next concert which was outside from the other side of Warsaw city. The second concert was much better that the former seemed to be students’ works for their amateur appearance, and I thought that even my own composition is also better.

 

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Amazingly the last piece of the concert tonight used only diatonic sonority as its pitch material but did very successfully that the combination of both acoustic and visual effects were naturally proper, with graceful orchestration and splendid musical variety. I got a new conclusion from today’s performances that both inner relationship and acoustic logic are important to the music even if when one tries to create a special atmosphere among the work.

 

 

Sep. 21 Wed. 2005

 

At noon I took the metro to Jewish Ghetto, there I met a girl who came from south Africa and was a freshment in Warsaw. We talked and visited with each other, taking a lot of photos and exchanging our native languages. Her language “Ndebele” is very difficult for most people to pronounce that includes several strange consonants such like “x”, which should be pronounced as “g” simutaneously with a tongue slap.

 

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Then I catched the bus to the concert where I met many young people, including painter, composer, musician, and audience. One of them was a Polish girl, who was on the same way to Philharmony and we took the taxi together for the time being too rush. Tonight was my first time listening to live performance of Boulez’s orchestral work, “Notation”, which is an excellent piece containing several complex layers inside. The conductor and the large orchestra were very good that gained much applause when ending.

 

 

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The last concert today took place in another art center far away from city center; therefore we youngers took the taxi together and shared the cost. It was very special that the program was performed in completely darkness for all the duration, around an hour. I was not used to open my eyes without vision, so I closed them for just listening to it. I enjoyed that good acoustic experience very much.

 

 

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However, I couldn’t find my dinner except for fastfood, and I regreted spending too much money eating. Gotten too many fried foods, I felt stomachache when back to the hotel.

 

Sep. 22 Thu. 2005

 

I had my lunch at noon in the vegetarian bar opposite to the hotel. Its food wasn’t expensive, but I didn’t enjoy the raw carrots and salads. Then I went to the Royal Route where many palaces and churches located, taking many photos under the fine weather with sunshine and blue sky.

 

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Unexpectively one friend who came from Taiwan for International Chopin Piano Competetion encountered with me on the street, and directly speak Chinese to me. I couldn’t recognize who he was immediately until I asked him; actually I forgot his majoring in piano that I assumed him just as an enthusiast for classical music.The concert in this afternoon was performed by Karios Quartet who played works of string quartet for all the program. They had amazingly many strange sounds and effects that gave me a lot of inspiration on my recent writing; as me decision, that I decided to rewrite it and open my eyes on the music field was accurate.

 

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In the evening the program was an opera which was constructed of many different kinds of music styles, mixing both two languages, French and English. Everyone on the stage could be an actor, including the soloist singer, the chorus, the orchestra, the conductor, and so on. Although I neither made sense of the libretto nor understood the plot at all; however, I enjoyed the atmosphere and the splendid performance very much. This was my second time to watch a live opera, which made more impression and showed better appearance. It was also a specific experience.

 

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I felt so tired after successive two concerts for a little throatache and headache that I should wear more clothes when leaving the hotel.

 

Sep. 23 Fri. 2005

 

In this morning I went to Zachodni station to buy a bus ticket to Zelazowa Wola,, where only three buses are available per day. Foretunely, a kind gentleman who is an English teacher helped me to do it smoothly, because the officer in the tourist information there didn’t speak English at all. He was very glad to help me when he knew that I study music in Taiwan, and rhen showed me where the platform is as well as how to recognize the words inside the bus.

 

 

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After taking lunch, I went back to the hotel, designing some materials about my composition, and had a nap until the evening when I took the tram to Bemowo sport center for the concert. The program was Boulez’s “Repons”, which is a masterpiece for soloists, ensemble, and computer, taking place in an old gym located on the suburb of Warsaw that I should walk through the path when arrived at the final tram-stop.

 

 

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Both the work and its performance were soperfect that I guessed Boulez must be more amazingly excellent if he conducted his own work by himself. Machines and computers of IRCAM actually developed very good technique to create highly acoustic effects that were delicate and exquisite.

 

 

 

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The second concert was in the other art center where we can take the free bus offered by the festival office. It was performed by a Korean group who looked some unfriendly and vulgar on first impression, but the music was special and attractive that we could entirely enjoy in it. By comparison, among Asian people I prefered Japanese for their good manner.I found CD in Poland very expensive that I could rarely afford them; however, I bought some of which commendable but scarce in Taiwan, such like Scelsi, Partch, and some of other Polish composers whose works are cheaper than foreign ones’.

 

 

Sep. 24 Sat. 2005

 

The first concert today was at noon, so I directly walked to Philharmonic from the hotel. They chose a series of calm works for this program that I could hear a lot of delicate sounds and their graceful combination.

 

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After that, three friends and I took several photos and then went to Old Town where we walked around for buting some souvenirs, because today was our last day in the festival. Two of us had to leave earlier that only the Polish girl and I took a long walk around the market square, choosing something special; eventually I bought three nacklaces, two artistic bottles, and a key ring. However I spent much money buying CDs, even if they were expensive, I purchased it as long as it’s unavailable in my native country and rarely seen.

 

 

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We went to the final concert which only had two works in the program after our dinner in Green House. I prefered Hosokawa’s work, but I could enjoy in another piece, too. Actually I heard many acoustic fragments that inspired my some ideas, but I couldn’t be attracted with it all the time for its vulgar permutation without any development of those materials. At the ending we said goodbye to each other, and I didn’t know when we can be together again: maybe never or many years later, I think. I believe that we must meet on different statuses in the future as long as we can stand on the world stage, being an excellent musician or composer.

 

 

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When going back to the hotel, I wrote the last postcard to Robin, telling him all my feelings and leaving eventual words in Warsaw that I hoped to meet with each other in Taipei soon after tomorrow. I suddenly found my vacation was about end, and there remained only one month for me to complete the work. It’s really a terrible reality.

 

 

Sep. 25 Sun. 2005

 

I got up early to take the bus to Zachodni station in the morning; fortunely there were money-exchange and bus tickets available that I never need to worry if I didn’t have enough cash or couldn’t take a bus. The always checked your ticket on a city-suburb bus, and I was affraid of the circumstance like in a few days before.A Japanese boy who studied piano and Japanese literature was also going to Zelazowa Wola, and we met each other at the bus station. He assumed me as a Japanese; then we talked and visited together all the day, listening to two ourdoor Chopin concerts and a competetion in Culture and Science Center. We took a lot of photos, and surely, bought many souvenis that included Chopin’s hand, which I yearned for before. The bus to Zelazowa Wola was interesting that when it was arrived, there was a broadcast playing a melody of Chopin’s “Military” polonaise by the trumpet. We both laughed when hearing that funny reminder to the tourists.

 

http://c.share.photo.xuite.net/hmcrecluse/1cdf3bb/6928954/270430593_m.jpg

 

Chopin’s birthplace was in a village which there were only a few houses and cars, distant from Warsaw city. I’d seldom been a rural area; therefore it was very exciting for me to take such an old bus, passing through the fields under the beatiful sunshine. The waether today was fine, suitable to do to the countryside that we enjoyed our day-trip very much, walking in the park by the water, surrounded with Chopin’s music.

 

http://c.share.photo.xuite.net/hmcrecluse/1cdf3d3/6928954/270430617_m.jpg

 

It was also my last night in Warsaw, so after the competetion we had our final dinner in a restaurant near the city center, where we could find some delicious vegetarian foods, under handsome waiters’ good service. The Japanese boy was very kind for acompanying me to eat vegetarian food and sharing them with me, and I really felt moved.

 

http://c.share.photo.xuite.net/hmcrecluse/1cdf3ff/6928955/270430660_m.jpg

 

Before farewell to Poland, I kept very impressive memory in my mind that I could rarely be concious with the time going so fast as so many events occured and so various thoughts given. Maybe my pace here was much faster than that in Taiwan; hence, my new life is going to start.

 

Sep. 26 Mon. 2005

 

After check-outed, I had my last lunch in the vegetarian bar opposite to the hotel, and took the taxi to the airport with Tien-Ming, whose flight was only 35 minutes earlier than me. We said goodbye to each other, also.

 

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My flight was on 16:15, from Warsaw, transfered in Amsterdan, Stopped in Bango, and arrived in Taipei on Sep. 27, evening. During the flight I met another Polish girl and an Englishman, the former was first time traveling alone, transfered her flight in AMS, and I helped here to find the boarding gate; the later was on both the same flight and bus to Taipei with me, so we eventually began to talk.Here is the end of my 12-days self-trip in Warsaw.

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怪癖

在朋友的點名遊戲裡,被規定寫下的自己的五個怪癖。

基本上我認為自己是個十足正常的人,應該沒什麼特別怪癖,就算有也都在正常人格特質的種類中吧。不過想來也是滿有趣的,果真是個自貶身價的遊戲啊….祇好硬著頭皮想想看了。

但我還是習慣強調這是「個性」而不是「怪癖」。

1. 不愛打電話。也許是網路發達的緣故,很習慣在線上 一面和人對話,一面做自己的事,但電話便必須全神貫注,有點像是在考聽力測驗。我偏偏是那種即使講中文仍經常miss掉許多訊息的人。所以除非必須直接聯 絡或是急迫的事情我才會使用電話吧,而且我不喜歡等人接電話或冒著各種狀況的風險,也不喜歡接沒有重要事的電話,我承認自己沒有足夠的耐心應付電話這東 西。

2. 用餐一定要有飲料。通常吃一餐對我而言,其中一項 很重要的部分便是飲料,若少了這部分會沒有滿足感。比如大學時修早上八點的課,便喜歡選擇包子配奶茶,午晚餐簡單點可能就是便當或鍋燒麵一類的配紅茶,諸 如此類。就算在家裡吃飯也一樣,我的飯碗旁邊必定會有一杯魔力點子或是其他的杯裝飲料,無論飯後有沒再喝starbucks,附餐飲料永遠是必備品。

3. 不愛跟人共用物品。我有一點莫名的潔癖,從簡單的文具、書本、手機、茶杯、安全帽等東西,即使在家中我都堅持祇使用「自己的」,也不太習慣將自己的東西借給朋友用。就像狗依照氣味認自己的地盤一樣,我也會認氣味跟感覺,包括筆的握感跟寫字觸感等,這樣似乎有點機車。

4. 非常重視顏色跟質感的搭配。我沒辦法忍受自己的東西不是同一個色系,外出的物件搭配也必須考量,從衣著、包包、髮帶、鞋子、隨行杯等,祇要其中一個顏色或質地不對,便會感到渾身不自在。我經常出門上課或赴約遲到,多半是在猶豫這些細節,縱使別人不會注意這點,我就是非常地care。

5. 文字上的癖好。我非常重視國字的使用正確,因此錯 字、火星文、新注音不選字、贅字、過多的口語….等,都會讓我感到極度不舒服,而且對內容起不了參與感,覺得不像是有意義的人類語言。雖然這並不意謂 著我一定要文謅謅地寫字,閱讀太多文字我會頭暈,然而透過文字所傳達的語感與態度,是我格外在乎的吧。

酒精

教授不怎麼喜歡我的「子夜醉歌」這首曲名,但事實上
適量喝酒對心臟比較好,因此做完碩論之後我又開始喝酒了。

那年暑假喝得特別多有另外的原因,譬如想要遺忘某些人事物,或者淡忘某些悲傷的感覺。我不否認自己曾經喝醉過,也不排斥喝醉,當然爛醉如泥便惹人厭了。我相當享受微醺的感覺,比起因咖啡因引起的心悸舒服得多。

許多詩人也都因飲酒而留下著名的作品,像是李白「舉杯邀明月,對影成三人」,杜甫「忘形到爾汝,痛飲真吾師。….但覺高歌有鬼神,焉知餓死填溝壑。」 等詩句,皆是醉茫茫的境界。也許師長同學們會認為喝醉很沒形象,腦筋渾沌無法理性地思考創作,然而如今我發現偶而喝醉有益身心健康,不僅紓解因學術壓力產 生的緊繃,更使腦袋比冥想更容易放空。

其實我酒量不好,最愛喝的還是7-11便買得到的蝶矢梅酒,酒精度15%,甜甜的但後勁很強,飲入腹中的感覺是灼熱的。剛開始會感到些許的噁心感,因為空 腹喝下酒精,必須與腸胃做過一番掙扎;在喝到半瓶之後,這樣的不適便很快地消失,取而代之的是雙頰、耳後如火燒炙般地熱度,入口卻是甜的。精神便在此時逐 漸甦醒,有種難以言喻的釋放感,稱之為微醺:這樣的飲法不能急躁,始能真正體驗並感受每一段轉變的過程。

因為酒精使人舒暢,再接著喝下去便會漸次轉為興奮、狂喜,像是性愛所達到的高潮,甚至忘我。這時便是進入醉的狀態前兆,若想體會醉的境界,應該在此時見好就收,神智介於清醒與夢幻之間,腳步並且會有些踉蹌。

若沒在高潮時停止飲用,生理的狀態便會逐漸遲鈍、昏沉,興奮的意識並不會因此消失,中心轉為強烈的個人主導,邏輯隨著生理反應之顯著而退化。通常別人會在這時跟你說「你喝醉了」,但這種狀況是無法完全自覺的,直到開始產生第二次的噁心感為止。

再描述下去便不雅了,就此打住吧。

所攝取酒精的份量因個人酒量而有所不同。以我為例,若啜飲5%~6%左右的雞尾酒,大約喝到1L才會到達「醉」的境界。我從不在醉的當下思考及創作,但不否認我的創作仍然需要酒精的養分,如同我需要咖啡因刺激神經一樣。

藝術家絕對不是怪人,祇是比較懂得如何吸取創作的養分罷了。
我祇是很普通的作曲的人。

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